Heart of the Moon (The Night Kind Saga Book 1) Read online

  “And in exchange for dropping my apology pie, I’d like to get to know you better.” She smirked back at the man.

  “Seems fair.” Mikhail chuckled as they crossed the threshold into the warmth of Rose’s home.

  With great reluctance she let go of Mikhail’s hand in order to shut the front door. Instantly she missed the feeling of his hot skin warming hers, Rose had always had people in her life complaining about her almost frigid like skin, she’d come to hate it, especially when it interfered with her instrument playing, but Mikhail hadn’t said anything.

  ‘Maybe we were meant to meet’ She mused to herself, shaking her head at the ridiculousness of it all, maybe that internet search had been a bad influence on her after all. “Welcome to the Crowley residence,” Rose announced with flourish as she stood once more in front of Mikhail, who was currently surveying the entrance hall and open planned first floor with such intensity, Rose was convinced he was committing his environment to memory. “Please no flash photography, and leave all questions ‘till the end of the tour.” Rose finished her playful charade with a slight bow, like some cheap showman at a roadside museum.

  It wasn’t until she returned to a normal standing position did she realise what she’d done was incredibly weird. It had been so long since she’d met anyone new that she’d forgotten how ‘bizarre’ some of her behaviour could be. Back in New York, after many harsh and cruel rejections, by peers and professors, Rose had actively made the decision to never show anyone how weird she could get, after all what respectable classical musician purposely acted the fool?

  “S…s…Sorry, I uh,” Rose averted her gaze from Mikhail, embarrassment spreading to her very soul. “I’m not used to guests.” She harshly bit her bottom lip, she couldn’t believe she’d slipped up this horribly in front of Mikhail already. The striking panic she was feeling was enough to make her want to go into the woods out back and bury herself in a very large whole.

  “Hey.” Mikhail’s voice was gentle as he carefully lifted Rose’s chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. “No need to apologise.” Rose was shocked, instead of the regular sneer of superiority many people wore when she slipped up and acted stupid, there was a shine of amusement glittering in his eyes.

  “Really?” She stuttered, unsure of his answer.

  “Of course.”

  “Thank you.” Rose all but whispered, her heart still filled with panic. “Uh, this way.” Rose motioned to the man, leading him right into the yellow kitchen. “Can I take your coat?” She turned and asked, trying desperately trying to move past the awkward moment.

  “Rose?” Mikhail's warm strong hand raised to wipe a tear from Rose’s cheek. Her breath caught in her throat, when had she started crying?

  “I keep messing up.” Her voice was weak as she backed away from the man. She thought she was getting better. That her pain had finally started to fade away, but no, she had ruined it by acting out of turn. By forgetting to act as others expect her to. She needed to be perfect other wise she’d never be happy…

  “Rose, are you okay?” Worry painted Mikhail’s face, as he moved Rose slowly to a chair.

  Rose didn’t notice the movement, or the question, in fact she couldn’t notice much of anything beside her quickly failing ability to breathe. She knew she was having a panic attack, she knew she needed to calm down, but she couldn’t, she just couldn't believe she’d messed up this bad in front of Mikhail, the ONE good thing she’d found in the black hole her life had collapsed into. He could have been something amazing, they could have started something new, and exciting and Rose had ruined it. Mikhail was a light at the end of the tunnel and She’D FuCKeD IT UP!! SHe ruiNed It! RuiNED iT!! lIke She AlWAys does, And AlwAys WilL BecaUse She waSnt’t good ENough!!!

  Intense blackness started consuming Rose’s vision, the dark swirling thoughts consuming her consciousness. Her warm tears falling down her cold pale skin, oblivion was just a second away when…

  PFFFTTTT!

  Rose quickly looked up at the flatulent sound, confusion swam through her foggy consciousness as she took in the sight before her. Mikhail keeling down in front of her, eyes full of worry and a palm pressed to his mouth. It was then Rose realised what the sound was. It was Mikhail, blowing raspberries on his hands.

  “Wha’?” Rose breathed, her bewilderment evident across her no longer crying face. Mikhail let out a breath and relaxed back onto his butt. Rose noted the man had discarded his coat and looked even more frazzled than she felt.

  “I was thinking of ways to distract you…” He raked a hand through his curls in slight embarrassment, “To help, I dunno, I panicked. I wanted to make you laugh instead of cry, that always worked for me.” Rose let out a half laugh, half sigh in response.

  “Mikhail…” Rose smiled, she couldn’t think of the right words to thank Mikhail. He was the first person (other than her parents) who had tried to help her through a panic attack, let alone stayed with her when it started. She was becoming even more positive that Mikhail was an angel sent from heaven especially for her. Crossing the distance between them quickly, Rose joined Mikhail on the old linoleum floor, her arms quickly embracing the broad warmth of the man in front of her.

  Mikhail quickly followed suit and wrapped his strong arms around the small, fragile woman, his nose nuzzling softly into her golden hair. Rose cuddled deeper into Mikhail, taking in his scent, a pleasant mix of the forest that surrounded the town and burning fire wood. It was musky and comforting, and oh so Mikhail. To Rose he smelled like home.

  “Thank you.” Rose mumbled into Mikhail’s grey knit jumper. His reply was simply to hold her tighter. “No, I mean it.” Rose pulled back slightly, not enough to break their embrace, but just enough to see his eyes. “I don’t know if you can tell, but I’m a little messed up.”

  Rose’s self deprecation caused a small frown to appear on Mikhail’s face, one Rose chose to ignore for now. She needed to explain what had just happened, and if she focused to much on his face during it, she knew she’d falter.

  “I’m not in the best place right now. I have a habit of…” How would she word this “Overthinking things. To the point where it’s pretty much ruined my life.” Rose sighed, resting her forehead on Mikhail’s clothed shoulder. “I spent so long thinking I wasn’t good enough that I stopped being me. My experiences have told me that who I am, is not what anyone else wants. So when I let that ‘real me’ slip out at the door. I panicked. I was afraid that you wouldn’t want to get to know me better because I’m…weird.” Rose spat the last word out. It had been a insult her entire life, and never had she thought it something to be embraced.

  Mikhail brushed through Rose’s hair softly. The action was so small but so soothing, if she wasn’t sat on her kitchen floor, Rose could easily have fallen asleep like this. The idea brought a small smile to her lips.

  “And I really, want to get to know you Mikhail. I don’t know why, but I do.”

  “I do too.” He whispered into her ear.

  Rose sat back finally dropping their hug, but not leaving Mikhail’s lap, right now she needed the comfort his contact brought. “You do, but…but I’m crazy?” Rose questioned.

  “No you’re not.” Rose gave Mikhail a quizzical look and he continued. “I don’t know what’s happened to you, and maybe one day you’ll trust me enough to tell me, but for now, all I know is that you have pain in your past, but here you are. Fighting through it, living despite the darkness. It doesn’t make you crazy, so don’t ever call yourself that. It makes you strong, and more importantly, it makes me want to spend every day from now on with you. Helping you. Knowing you…and eventually beating up whatever caused you so much pain in the first place.” Mikhail finished his declaration with a cheeky grin, that warmed Rose to the core.

  “That was adorable.” Rose admitted, her panic completely forgotten for now. “Though I think you’ll have a hard time beating up concepts like obsessive perfectionism and self deprecating spirals of shame and unworthine
ss.”

  “Well I’m going to try.” Mikhail laughed with over confidence and Rose knew that he was telling the truth, deep down in her soul, she just knew. She’d never felt this type of certainty ever in her life. It was almost overwhelming, but she welcomed it.

  * * * * * *

  “So how long have you lived in Lunar Hills?” Rose enquired placing two cups of cocoa down on the small kitchen table.

  “About two years.” Mikhail replied with an air of nonchalance. “You?”

  “Ah,” Rose sighed into the old wooden chair opposite her new friend. “You want the long or short version?” Her voice a mixed bag of playfulness and a deep penetrating sadness, Rose attempted to seem aloof by nibbling on an over sized cookie, but her melancholy was noted by Mikhail and the deep crease between his thick eyebrows.

  “I want your version.” His voice was soft, Rose saw his sympathetic smile and knew he wasn’t pressuring her to spill her whole truth, at least not yet.

  “Born and raised here, moved to New York City” Rose sipped the chocolate beverage, “Moved back six months ago.”

  “Six months?” Mikhail questioned.

  “Yeah?”

  “Why have I only just met you?” His head tilted like a puppy out of confusion, which was just another strike in the adorable category for Rose.

  “Well that’s the thing Mikhail, you kinda gotta leave the house to meet new people.” An awkward smile crept across Rose’s embarrassed face. Mikhail sat back in his chair, confusion still on his features until suddenly lights came on behind his eyes.

  “Oh.”

  “Yep.” Rose affirmed with a pop. “So, why Lunar Hills? I mean it’s not exactly most peoples dream town.” She wanted desperately to change the subject, she hoped Mikhail would pick up on that.

  “It’s quiet here.” Mikhail clutched his mug, staring down into the brown liquid, seemingly deep in thought. Rose knew in an instant that there was a history there, one that was on par or even greater than hers. She was starting to understand why he was so excepting of her pain. He clearly had his own, and that thought alone made her soul ache with a profound desire to help heal whatever wounds he may have.

  “It is.” She smiled fondly. “It’s kinda nice actually.” Rose thought back to the hectic, never ending onslaught of noise that had been the soundtrack to her time in New York, there was never a moment of peace or serenity, Lunar Hills was the complete opposite. The loudest sound it produced was the thunder and rain that often coated the foggy forest town, it wasn’t too far of a stretch to assume a deep sigh was probably the towns official anthem.

  “So what about before Lunar Hills?” Rose enquired. “I mean you didn’t just pop into existence two years ago. Unless…” She smirked.

  “Ha, no.” Mikhail’s levity returned. “Actually, I was raised in New York City, but I didn’t stay, couldn’t. So I travelled a lot. Never really settled down anywhere. Until I found this place.”

  “New York?” Rose asked. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. I know right. Almost like fate or something.” He was joking but Rose couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that he was on the right track.

  “Mikhail, are you magic?”

  “What?!” The poor man yelled in surprise, knocking his full mug down, thick brown liquid spilling all over the table.

  “Shit!” Rose jumped up.

  “Sorry, sorry.” Mikhail stuttered, embarrassment flushed across his face. They both scrambled to clean the mess up, Rose with a wash cloth and Mikhail with his coat sleeve.

  “No need to apologise, it was a bad joke.”

  “No, no. It just took me by surprise.” They both dabbed at the spill awkwardly, before their hands and eyes met. Rose couldn’t contain the laugh that escaped her chest.

  “What?” Mikhail asked.

  “We are disasters.” There was such warmth to her laugh that Mikhail couldn’t contain a smile. “Mikhail we’ve just met and we’ve already profusely apologised to each other like a hundred times, not to mention embarrassed ourselves just as much.” Rose stilled, twisting the stained rag cautiously in her hands, ignoring the dripping it was causing. “And yet, this is probably the best day of my life, there’s something about you. I just feel…whole.” She whispered the final word, as if a puzzle piece had just been plopped into place for her.

  “Rose…” Mikhail stepped towards Rose, he was radiating such warmth it was almost dizzying. She wanted nothing more to run into his embrace, maybe even more, and if the look in his piercing eyes was any indication he wanted her to.

  “Rose sweetie, we’re home!” Mary’s voice singsonged out into the house as she stepped through the threshold of the house.

  “We’ve got Chinese.” David joined in with his wife, calling out to their daughter, who was frozen in the kitchen like a deer in headlights.

  “Honey we…Oh.” Mary was quickly cut off, as the middle aged couple entered the kitchen. Rose noted how tense Mikhail seemed to become next to her. She glanced quickly from Mikhail, who was just as shell shocked as her, to her mother and father.

  “Mom, dad. This is Mikhail.” She vaguely motioned to the towering man beside her, she’d never felt more like a naughty teenager in her life. Her parents eyes quickly went to focus on their daughters guest.

  “Hello.” He awkwardly waved. “Uh, I should… go.”

  “No, no stay.” Mary smiled, rushing forward to greet her daughters mysterious new friend. “We’ve bought takeout. Stay please.” She enthused as she shook Mikhail’s hand.

  “Mom.” Rose quickly shook her head. “Uh, I’ll show you out. Okay.”

  “Thank you.” Mikhail breathed. Rose understood the plight that was social anxiety quite well. She probably would have run away if her and Mikhail’s positions had been switched.

  The two couples quickly traded places, as Rose escorted Mikhail out. Rose found herself walking Mikhail all the way down the path to the fallen mess of pie, she wanted to spend as much time with him as possible, and she wanted to avoid the obviously prying conversation that was awaiting her back in the kitchen.

  “Sorry about that.”

  “Another apology?” Mikhail laughed.

  “We’re gonna have to start a tally or something.” Rose joked.

  “Definitely.”

  A silence fell between the two, Rose could feel her soul telling her not to say goodbye. She wondered hopelessly if Mikhail was feeling the same way.

  “So.” She subconsciously tucked some fly aways behind her ear.

  “So,” Mikhail’s voice was soft like butter, the night sky making his eyes twinkle in the moon light. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Tomorrow, yeah.”

  “Goodnight Rose.” Mikhail pulled her into a deeply caring hug.

  “Goodnight Mikhail.” She murmured into his chest.

  Rose sighed into the door as she locked it up tight for the night, her heart was still pounding from Mikhail’s goodbye. She hadn’t felt this contented since she’d learnt her first concerto. Never once had she cried out of happiness, but in this moment Rose felt like she could.

  “Ahem.” A fake cough resonated from her father in the kitchen. Rose cursed the open plan of the first floor, there was no way in hell her parents would let her sneak off to bed in peace, collecting her strength Rose took a deep breath and joined her parents in the kitchen, taking the seat that minutes ago was occupied by Mikhail.

  “Chow Mein?” Her dad asked rhetorically as the stern mechanic slid the food across the table to his daughter.

  “Thanks.” Rose took it slowly, taking in her parents expressions. Her mom was filled with mirth and pride, her dad on the other hand was as stoic as ever, being the only person eating and having already gone through half a beer. It was almost like old times, Rose hadn’t realised how much she had missed this.

  “How was your day sweetie?” Her mothers voice was soft and kind, inquisitive but not too prying.

  “Really good, mom.” Rose couldn’t contain her
dreamy smile. “Really good.”

  “Mmm we could see that.” The gruff mechanic grumbled into his dinner.

  “Dad!” Rose blanched.

  “David.” Mary batted her husband on the chest in disapproval. “Go on honey.”

  “It’s not like that.” Rose blushed stabbing her noodles with a fork. “Mikhail’s…a friend, I made today.” She internally cringed at her obvious crush, and she knew her mom wouldn’t be fooled by her ‘friend’ wording.

  “Mikhail? You mean the bakery boy? Huh.” Her dad shrugged somewhat cynical.

  “Bakery boy?” Rose questioned her father.

  “Yeah, he bakes shit for Derek and Wendy.” His air of nonchalance was almost irritating to Rose, she didn’t understand how anyone could be so blasé about Mikhail. “Didn’t think he’d be so jacked.”