Heart of the Moon (The Night Kind Saga Book 1) Read online

  Contents

  Heart of the Moon

  For my Dad and Mum

  Acknowledgements

  Two Souls

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Epilogue

  Index

  Heart of the Moon

  by Z.P Salussolia

  For my Mum and Dad

  This is the closest I’ll get to giving you Grandkids

  Acknowledgments

  To Erika and Jayme, who had to endure this story in it’s messy, unpolished and crazy beginnings, and encouraged me to stay strong.

  And to those amazing creators who inspired me to create my own little world, without you I’d be nothing.

  Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they're born.

  — F. Scott Fitzgerald

  Prologue

  What makes a person whole? Love? Happiness? Succeeding in your dreams and ambitions? Once you have one or all of the above are you a fully complete person? If you achieve everything you think is needed to be complete, will your soul finally grant you peace?

  Rose Howard Crowley, born on a regular Tuesday morning in 1994 always felt a little different, no matter what experiences she had she just couldn’t find what made her soul sing. Soon her ambitions, expectations and dreams were all set on finding happiness, and by age ten she had decided to dedicate her entire life to making her dreams come true, no matter what. For many who knew her growing up, they couldn’t decide if that was adorably naive or arrogant beyond belief. Somehow Rose had managed to tow the line.

  From childhood Rose had grown up hearing stories from her parents about the trials and tribulations they had gone through to follow their own ambitions, and how they got to where they were in life. They had thought it was smart to teach her that anything was possible if she just put in the work and passion. They didn’t think this would ever back fire, but it had instilled a desperate need to succeed in the young impressionable Rose, thinking that would be the key to happiness. It had led her down a path where she desperately needed her life to have meaning, for her dream of joining the New York City Philharmonic to come to fruition.

  Rose knew she couldn’t just sit back and just wait to become a renowned classical musician, she hunkered down and put in the work, she studied her ass off in the attempt to be perfect, to meet the expectations she had set for herself. Which from the very beginning was a difficult task, especially her remote mountain hometown of Lunar Hills.

  It was a dreary place located in the heart of the Pacific Northwest, with less than two thousand residents. To most it was nothing more than a boring pit stop for lumber, hunters and travellers just passing through. The local schools didn’t have the resources or funding for many music programs, let alone the ability to actively encourage any child's passions for the arts. So Rose took any and all lessons she could get, any opportunity to improve she would grab and never let go. Be it the ear splitting recorder ‘lessons’ in elementary school, her father David teaching her the smooth chords of the acoustic guitar (a talent he claimed helped win her mothers heart), or Nana Crowley who had gifted Rose her first violin at only eleven years old.

  However an unspoken emptiness continued to grow inside Rose, one that permeated every second of her life, except when she played. It didn’t take long until everything was pushed to the back burner in her life. Unless it was in the pursuit of her musical ambitions, she really didn’t care. On her days off from school, Rose would volunteer at the local hospital her mom worked at, playing soothing tunes for the patients that desperately needed some company, though human companionship wasn’t all that interesting to her. She simply didn’t have time for friends, boys or the prom. They would just distract her from her goal.

  When her concerned mother would ask her why she was so passionate, Rose had simply stated that;

  “Music makes me happy.”

  So when the opportunity to leave Lunar Hills and head straight to New York City arose, she packed up, kissed her parents goodbye and travelled across the country to chase her dream. A dream she knew would come true. She had staked her life on it. So it had to come true.

  Right?

  Chapter One

  Rose slammed her hand down on her old alarm clock, wincing as her soft palm met the cold hard metal. She could already tell it was going to be one of ‘those’ days. Begrudgingly she opened her eyes to glare at the old bedroom relic she had forgotten to get rid of. It read 11:30am.

  Sighing, she rolled onto her back and stared up at the blank ceiling. She didn’t care that the sun had risen hours ago, or that the mattress of her teenage bed was lumpier than a pebble beach. She had no reason to get out of bed. After all, how does one go on after their dreams have been shattered and shat on by life itself? That was the unanswerable question that had plagued Rose since her arrival back in Lunar Hills, six months ago.

  She supposed it could always be worse. Most people who try to ‘make it’ in New York City didn’t have a loving family to fall back on, and she remembered how much she’d thanked her parents through her tears when they picked her up from the airport. How they could see just how much Rose was hurting, and telling her how it would take time to find a new normal. For six months they had been there for Rose, no matter what she needed, they would do it, without question.

  ‘But what am I supposed to do now?’ Rose thought glumly to herself as she pushed herself up against her headboard.

  She’d spent the past seven years in New York, training, learning, growing, gaining a Master’s in music and for what? Rejection, humiliation and failure. ‘Yeah, I’m a daughter to be proud of.’

  Lazily, she reached back over to her bedside table, grabbing a hair tie from the pile that had accumulated on the dark wood. Haphazardly, she pulled her long, greasy golden hair into a low ponytail. She hadn’t washed it in well over a week, she didn’t have the motivation to do anything, something as small as taking a shower seemed insurmountable. Hell if she didn’t think her mom would’ve committed her, she would have cut the chest length mop into a pixie cut as soon as she’d seen the kitchen scissors lying out on the counter on her first day home.

  Rose wondered if that she was thinking too loud as her mother poked her head around her bedroom door.

  “Morning, honey. I knocked, but you didn’t answer.” Her mom smiled sheepishly. The middle-aged woman was dressed for work, her greying hair tied into a tight bun, scrubs immaculate and freshly pressed. Any other doctor of her experience would wear a nice blouse and tailored trousers, but not Doctor Mary Crowley. She had always claimed she didn't feel like a doctor without her scrubs, and the hospital never said anything about it, so she carried on, even after becoming Chief of Staff. Mary was the pinnacle of following your dreams and Rose's biggest hero. Though she had never told her mother that.

  “Mornin’, Mom.” Rose croaked, sleep still evident in her voice.

  Mary tentatively sat at the base of Rose's dishevelled bed, eyeing the mess her room had become.

  “How are you feeling today?” Her voice was soft and caring.

  “Fine.” Rose lied. She hoped that if she told herself that enough she’d really would be fine.

  “Well, Dad’s gonna be out until late tonight, he has to go to Mr Malone's to get something…I can’t remember what.”
Rose smiled as her moms face scrunched up as she tried to remember what her husband had told her. “Well, something for work. Why his clients always demand the most expensive car parts is beyond me.” She shook her head jovially, knocking her tangent away, “Anyway he’s not gonna be here today, and sweetie, I just need to know you’re gonna be okay.”

  Rose pulled her knees up to her chest, wanting to sink into the ground, she couldn’t bear the hopeful smile and the warm hand on hers, it made her feel like garbage. She desperately wanted the tip towing around her to end, but Rose knew her mom would never stop trying to help her or make her smile again.

  “Yeah. I’ll be fine.” Rose dipped her head, not daring to look her mother in the eyes.

  “Rose.”

  “Mmmm” The blonde still refused to raise her head. She felt her mothers touch on her chin, gently raising it.

  “Rose. I love you. But you’re really scaring me. I’ve tried to give you space, to give you support, but I don’t know what to do anymore. Please…” There were tears forming in the older womans eyes “Promise me you’ll do something today. Even if it’s just a shower or a walk, you’ve gotten too pale, too thin... Please Sweetie.”

  Mary cupped her daughters cheek as if she was made of the most fragile porcelain. Rose's eyes connected with her mothers, and it felt like an eternity had passed since she’d looked anyone in the eye. It was then that it clicked for Rose, why things weren’t improving, why she couldn’t move on, she had to take the first step. Something that for so long now, she had refused to do.

  “Okay Mom.” Rose agreed, it hurt her soul to know she was causing her parents pain. It was the one thing she had never wanted to be, a disappointment. Mary stood and smiled. A brief kiss was planted on the top of Rose's head, before she headed out.

  “Have a good day at work.”

  “I will sweetie.”

  Her mom was soon gone, a gentle click of her door leaving Rose alone once again in her hovel she called a bedroom.

  ‘Twenty-five years old but she can still make me feel like a little girl.’ A small bemused laugh escaped her throat, even in her clouded depression Rose could admit it was nice not having insurmountable pressure on her shoulders for a change. When she had first told them she needed to come home neither her mom or dad had yelled, or expressed anything other than understanding to Rose, and yet she couldn't help but feel like she’d let them down. For six months she had wallowed in self pity and was trapped in a well of failure. Well not today. Rose had made her mother a promise and she intended to keep it.

  Flinging the plum coloured duvet off of her and the bed, Rose stood tall for the first time in forever.

  “Right shower, then walk…” It felt like she was finally waking up from a nightmare. She knew things wouldn’t get better unless she was willing to take the plunge. “Hopefully.”

  * * * * * *

  Hot cascading water washed over Rose's slim frame, her hair and skin peppered with lavender scented bubbles. The steam filled the bathroom like a sauna, helping to flush out the depression funk her body had accumulated over the months.

  As she dragged the wash cloth over her heated skin, she couldn’t deny that it felt really good to be clean again. It was a small but important indication that she wasn’t just a husk of a person, a hollow automaton running through life on auto-pilot, it gave her hope that there was really a chance to come back from the hell her depression had drop kicked her into.

  “Urghh” She groaned out as she pressed her forehead to the shiny shower tiles. She wished she could stop dwelling on the past, but if it was that easy to move on after a soul crushing failure, Rose wouldn’t have had to cry herself to sleep, questioning if she really wasn’t meant to play music, and what was she meant to do now? ‘Maybe I can get my job at the diner back.’ She pondered sadly to herself.

  During her final years of high school an old family friend, Derek, had offered her a part time waitressing job at his diner, her parents had pushed her to take it, hoping it would make Rose socialise more. In the end she had only agreed so she could save money for her move to New York City, otherwise she never would have cut into her precious practice time.

  Turning the shower off, Rose stepped out and grabbed her towel. She was starting to feel like an idiot for dedicating every fibre of her soul to practising her instruments, she couldn’t recall the last time she’d played anything for herself. Playing music simply because she wanted to and not because she felt like she had to.

  Wiping condensation from the mirror she stared at her fresh clean face. Her mom was right she did look paler than usual, even her freckles seemed to have faded, the only pops of colour on her face was the deep, dark bags under her exhausted brown coloured eyes. Rose was astonished at just how far she had fallen in what felt like so little time.

  Padding quickly back to her room the heat of the shower was replaced with the usual Lunar Hills cold. Yet Rose couldn’t deny that it was something she loved about the town. She never was the biggest fan of constant unyielding heat, in her opinion it was inescapable, a torture method that the earth had created to drive people mad in the summer. The cold however was perfect, it heralded fluffy blankets and lots of layers, cuddling up all nice and cozy with a good book in front of the crackling wood fire, she could live with the cold, play in the snow, and bask in the darkness that winter brought with it. If Lunar Hills was were Rose was truly meant to be at least she liked the weather.

  * * * * * *

  After drying her hair and getting dressed in black thermal leggings and an over sized orange sweater, (otherwise known as pumpkin chic) Rose made her way to the kitchen, a pastel yellow monstrosity that hadn’t been updated since her parents had moved in over 30 years ago.

  Before she could make it to the fridge, her focus was caught by a plate of cookies on the small dining table situated by the kitchen window. As she sat down she saw that someone had left a note;

  Flower, you need to eat breakfast.

  So have some cookies. You know you want to.

  Dad x

  P.S Gonna be late home, didn’t want to wake you to say bye.

  Grabbing a cookie, Rose nibbled at the delectably sweet treat. Her dad was an ex-military man, and a incredibly dedicated mechanic, so not the type to get all mushy and over protective like her mom. He was a man of few words, but he possessed a massive heart, it just came out in weird ways. Like cookies for breakfast.

  Staring out of the window, she wondered what to do next. She had promised her mom she would do something today, and it would be so easy to say that the shower was her something, but the water had helped wash away her funk somewhat, and she wanted to continue this upward trajectory, plus she couldn’t shake the feeling that something was pulling her forward.

  With nothing much to do in the house, besides clean her birds nest of a bedroom, Rose decided on a nice walk into town, it had been years since she was home, and a surprising amount of nostalgia was being dredged up. Plus the complete isolation of the Crowley household from the rest of the town was far too lonely for her right now. Once again her mind drifted to the diner, Lunar Hills top restaurant…okay it was the town’s only restaurant, but it was quaint. Derek, the man who owned it, was her dads best friend since childhood, collectively they were known around town as Dn’D, and no they didn’t realise that meant Dungeons and Dragons, or the fact that the jocks who gave them that name were trying to bully them. That’s just what kind of men they were. Oblivious to everyone but them.

  Rose remembered the day she came home, Derek was one of the first people to try and welcome her back, the insistence she was finally where she belonged and his numerous offers for reassuring hugs. However the deep depressive void she had been in meant Rose had ignored all those who came to the house by refusing to leave her room. She couldn’t even recall the last time she’d spoken to anyone who she wasn’t related to.

  Rose stood, her mind made up, the walk to the diner was a good step forward, and a good source of exercise for th
e young woman.

  ‘A nice walk into the centre of town is a good idea...’ Rose attempted to amp herself up, she was starting to get nervous, about what? She wasn’t sure, but she knew it was now or never.

  Not giving herself a moment to back out, she grabbed her thick khaki jacket and keys, put on her sturdiest boots and finally left the house.

  * * * * * *

  Rose revelled in the burnt orange leaves as they fell around her, thick trees surrounded every road in town, it was like every building was protected by a natural covering of armour, its beauty made the long walk to Derek’s Diner fly by.

  ‘I guess that’s another reason to like it here.’ Rose smiled, seemingly finding more and more reasons to like her hometown, she contemplated if the reason she had never given the town a chance was because she was so adamantly determined to leave it whilst growing up.

  Quickly she passed over the final road to her destination, boots slapping against wet concrete. Jaywalking here was a breeze, so much so that children weren’t really taught not to. Rose shuddered, thinking that if she had ever attempted to cut across a road in Manhattan, she would have been home much, much sooner, as a mushy blood filled pile of goo.